Harold Larwood In The Year 3000

We’re hearing more and more about dead people being deep frozen in ice, and then woken up when scientists have found the cure for cancer, dementia, or whatever it was that sent them down to the funeral parlour in the first place. It seems to me to be a needlessly expensive alternative to sending them off to Fenner’s for the first game of a new cricket season, where the minus 196C required for “cryo-preservation”, as it’s called, can be comfortably achieved every April by the simple expedient of leaving home without your bobble hat and thermos flask.
It’s a shame the technique has only just been properly established, otherwise we could be anticipating a special match at Lord’s in, say, the year 3000, with WG and the Don batting against Larwood and Wilfred Rhodes. In future, though, given that the Lord’s Museum will eventually run out of space to house all those old bats, gloves and porcelain busts, we we’ll be able to file past our heroes down at Iceland – preserved in time next to the ready meals and frozen peas.

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