It’s not every week that you get to paint Geoff Boycotts mum but the truth is it was fairly easy to stick some hair rollers, rhubarb and high heels on Boycotts fizzog for a light hearted editorial illustration.
So here are a few of those wise words written by Martin Johndon for this weeks ‘The Cricket Paper’.
“There are one or two instances in which Wisden’s claim to be cricket’s unimpeachable bible fails to stand up to serious scrutiny, including the long since discredited notion that Sir Donald Bradman was the finest batsman who ever played the game.
Regular listeners to Test Match Special have no doubt at all that this particular accolade belongs to Geoffrey Boycott’s mum, who not only scored more runs than the Don, but also flayed the world’s finest bowlers to all parts whilst wearing a pinny and wielding a stick of rhubarb.
Unlike Bradman, she was also an all rounder, and while Geoffrey has been slightly less colourful in the analogy department when describing her bowling, we can perhaps take it as read that her bumper crop of ten wicket hauls were all taken whilst running in on a pair of high heels and propelling a mango.
In which case, Sri Lanka’s batsmen can count themselves lucky that Mrs B has long since hung up the heels, and that they’ve only had to face bowlers as ordinary as Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad. On the Boycott scale of one-sided encounters, Jimmy could have run in wearing in a Shirley Bassey evening gown, and bowled them out with something shiny from the greengrocers.”